Forty Two

Mike's angry gaze bored into me, demanding an answer.

I wanted to spit back a smart-mouth something. Instead, I impersonated a mullet with legs. How could I have been so stupid? All the times I had told Mike what a user Lisa was... had I let her fool me so easily? What the hell had I been thinking? But then she hadn't fooled me had she? She had never promised anything, never claimed to be anything other than she had always been to me - a hot honey I'd secretly wanted to score with.

'Nothing,' I said unsteadily.

'It sure looks like nothing.' There was a dark edge to Mike's voice that I'd only heard once before. Years ago, in the final days before my parents finally put us all out of our misery and separated, Dad had pushed the edge of sanity. He'd forget things he'd said, or anyone else had said, he'd read malice into the most innocent event and he'd rage at the slightest provocation. During those rages, there had been a wildness in his voice and in his eyes, born of hurt and anger, of bitterness and loss.

I guess I was only beginning to understand the force of a wounded heart. I could almost smell the betrayal leeching from my skin - my own mingling with Lisa's. She had betrayed Mike, she would betray me said a voice of reason somewhere in my mind. I had known that all along, but I hadn't wanted to believe it. Things could be different with me... 'What trouble? What the hell are you talking about?'

'She's moved out,' said Mike, still watching my every reaction.

I feigned surprise then the appropriate disappointment for him.

'You're the one who always told me she was here for the free ride,' Mike continued.

I nodded slowly. I hadn't thought about it before with the distraction of juggling Nina and Lisa in the same room and then the hurry to get to Mike's - but it didn't make sense that Lisa suddenly got her own place. She didn't even have a job. 'Do you know where she's gone?' I asked, trying to find a thread of my unravelling mess.

Mike shook his head. 'She wouldn't tell me.' His words were measured; loaded.

'You want to stay with me for a while?' I didn't want him to, but I figured it was the most immediate way of telling him she wasn't with me.

He stared at me, probably trying to gauge if I was bluffing.

I shrugged like I didn't know what the attitude was about. 'If you want?'

'I don't think so,' he said and headed for the kitchen.

I blew a long breath, relieved to be on my own. I ran my fingers through my hair and rubbed my face - trying to jumpstart my brain. I questioned the prudence of following a Mike into a room containing readily accessible sharp implements, but I needed to know what was really going on.

Mike was pouring cornflakes into a bowl. Unwashed dishes lined the sink and draining board. I pulled out a bar stool and sat at the kitchen counter. 'You didn't tell me what this trouble is.'

'Didn't I?' Mike rummaged through a draw and to my relief, hooked out a serving spoon and not a knife. I guessed it was the last clean spoon in the draw. He sat at the dining table. I spun around on my stool to face him.

He stirred his cornflakes aimlessly. I fetched the milk from the fridge and put it on the table. 'You don't have to tell me.'

He stared at the milk and shook his head. 'I don't know what the hell is going on any more. Maybe I'm just paranoid.'

'Maybe you're just hurt.'

He gazed up at me, his adams apple bobbing a swallow. 'I think... I think she's got a sugar daddy. I think she tried to get away from him for a while, but he wouldn't let her go - or maybe he's found her again. I think the stupid lying tramp has got herself deep in shit and she's trying to keep me out of it.'

I leant back against the kitchen bench. Questions bubbled through my mind but the only one reached my mouth was, 'Why?'

Mike shoved his cornflakes away, still untouched. 'Why what?'

'Why anything? Why do you think she has a sugar daddy? Why do you need protecting?' I remembered Gary's excitement about an empty condom wrapper, no doubt a dirty tell-tale that led all the way to a major dump.

Mike traced random patterns on the table top with his spoon. 'Forget it.'

'Forget it? I can't just forget-'

A rush of air whistled past my ear. The spoon clattered to a halt on cupboard door and then on the kitchen tiles.

Yeah, that was the look alright. The look Dad got before he beat on Mum. Maybe the truth was somewhere in between Lisa and Mike's stories.

We sat in silence, studiously avoiding eye contact for several minutes. I was concerned Mike would do something stupid if I left, and I was concerned he'd do something stupid if I stayed. There was only one person that was going to give me all the answers I needed.

I edged away from the bench. 'I might.. er...' I nodded towards the front of the house.

'Whatever.'

I didn't risk further words. I had a fury of my own burning. I rang Gary from my car and told him to get over to Mike's place. I didn't answer any of his questions besides telling him Mike needed a friend. A real friend.

I pulled Lisa's crumpled address out of my pocket. I needed answers and I was damn well going to get them.

Forty Three