Fifty

It was times like this I wished Mum and Dad didn't speak. Isn't the point of divorce that you don't have to see the other person anymore?

Meme stalked into the kitchen with a smug look of satisfaction on his face. I figured he'd probably crapped on my old bed again.

'Oh, isn't he cute,' cooed Nina. She bent down to stroke him. He purred and rubbed his face against her knees.

'He's been much better since I've been putting parafin oil on his food. It's an old trick, but a good one. Poor thing doesn't hunch over and strain so much. I so hated to watch him struggle with his poo.'

Just the subject I wanted to hear about as Mum baked.

'He's gorgeous,' said Nina.

'Why did you watch him then?' I asked.

Mum ignored me and paused from her apple coring. 'He certainly seems to like you,' she said. 'He's a good judge of character.'

Yeah right - he's the black knight re-incarnated but Mum won't accept it.

'Never really taken to you has he, Des dear?'

Meme looked up at me, his eyes half closed as Nina scratched his ear. I swear he was smirking.

'Taken to me? The vicious little... he hates me.'

'Well he seems to have a new best friend now,' said Mum.

As much as I detested TBK, the little prick had outsmarted himself this time. Anyone in with Mum's cat, was in with Mum. I smiled back at the little minx.

'There's only one thing he loves more than that, Nina, and that's a brush. Would you like to give him one?'

'Ok.'

Mum wiped her hands on her apron, fetched Meme's brushes and took Nina out onto the back verandah. When she returned she fixed me with a stare the likes of which I hadn't seen since I accidentally on purpose lost my new bright-yellow oil skin raincoat at primary school.

'She seems very nice.' She said it accusingly.

I frowned. 'She is. I thought that'd be a good thing.'

'Well,' said Mum planting her fists on her hips, 'that rather depends on what you're up to doesn't it? Now you're father said you were too busy to speak to him - that you had a bit of crumpet with you.'

'Mum-' I sounded twelve again.

She held up her finger and my whine ceased. I suddenly thought of TBK. He knew exactly what he was doing. That freakin' little devil got me again...

'I was talking to Mike's mother yesterday. It seems Mike is very upset about his girlfriend - that nasty little piece of skirt, Lisa. Well? I'm not stupid, Des?'

I scuffed my feet on the lino.

'Des. Look-at-me.'

I dragged my gaze off the floor and hung my head dejectedly.

'Oh Des.' She stamped her foot. 'You're just like your father. He could never keep it in his pants either.'

'Ew! Mum!'

'Shut-up.'

I stared at the finger poised inches from my nose. 'You were raised to know better, Des. Now I don't know what goes through that decrepid mind of yours, but I'm telling you this. She...' Mum pointed to the sliding door, '...doesn't deserve... that kind of thing.'

'But I haven't done anything... not to her.' What was with Nina? She had a security team everywhere.

I stood awkwardly for a while. Mum, apparently having said her piece returned to her apples.

The door slid open and Nina returned carrying the purring son of evil.

'Ah,' said Mum. 'You're just in time to help me with the pastry.'

TBK yawned and licked his lips. He fixed me with one eye and smiled.

Fifty One