Forty Six

The fourth step from the top groaned under my weight - despite my pink panther stealth walk. I froze.

Nothing happened.

The muffled murmur of voices continued to seep from under Lisa's door. I tiptoed onto the landing. Footsteps from Lisa's room stepped towards the door. I bounded for the spare room - the door was ajar enough for me to duck behind it. I stepped on some magazines, narrowly missing a suitcase, a laptop and a couple of tennis raquets spread along the wall in the otherwise empty room. The footsteps retreated away from Lisa's door and I figured one of them, probably Mike, was pacing.

I snuck back onto the landing and crept forward until their muffled voices became intelligible.

'Just leave it,' said Lisa.

'No. I don't understand. How can you just throw everything away?'

'You never will understand,' came Lisa's voice again. 'I have to do this.'

'You know what this makes you.' I could imagine the pain on Mike's face as his version of Lisa crumbled before the reality he now faced.

'A whore? A prostitute... a slapper?'

It went silent for a while. I chewed a fingernail wondering if I should retreat for cover or make a break for the stairs, but also trying to process her admission. She'd got so upset atme for asking... Another tangent enterd my mind. I mean it's kind of a compliment to score with a professional, but... surely, she wouldn't be so blatent. She'd have some sort of internal justification for it that allowed her to think of herself in some other way. She was being manipulated somehow by this guy, this sugar daddy. She had to be. Even I knew I was clutching at straws.

'You're better than that.' Mike's voice was cracked and soft; barely audible. I almost agreed outloud.

Then it struck me somehow. A respect for Mike. His heart being torn out and stamped on - his girlfriend telling him she's a cash deal and he... I choked up. I'd never realised he was so compassionate under his free-wheeling exterior.

'Only you think that,' replied Lisa almost as quietly.

I almost wanted them to get back together.

'If you expect me to believe this is just about money... then what about Des?' Mike's voice regained a hard edge as he spoke my name.

I inched forward. Yeah, what about me? Why get with a gong boy? Why did she come to me if Mike wasn't abusing her? There was something there... between us... there was...

Lisa scoffed. 'You can't be serious? What about him? There is nothing going on there.'

I was relieved, grateful and indignant all at the same time. Relieved she was trying to cover my arse, by extension of covering her own, but did she have to make it sound so inconceivable? But why admit she's pretty much a hooker and then deny me? Was it me she was protecting, or something else?

'I'm not smart. Never have been. Not much I can do about it. But I'm not a fool. I've seen the change in both of you.'

I heard a bed spring groan. 'Ok. OK. That wasn't supposed to happen. After Kevin... I knew you'd go nuts if I came home. I didn't know where to go. I just, I don't know why, I figured I'd cool down for a while, work things out. I didn't expect...'

'You didn't expect him to take advantage of you. To get you into bed while you were vulnerable. That lowlife snake...'

Hey, it wasn't like that-

'Shit Lisa!!' Something slammed. 'How could you? With Des? Of all the freaking people... Des?'

'I know,' said Lisa apologetically.

I stared at the door indignantly. What the hell was that supposed to mean?

'I'm done Mike. You, Des, everyone. I'm with Kevin. That's it.'

I'd heard enough. I scampered down the stairs not really caring if they heard me or not. This was bollocks. She was lying... she had to be.

Forty Seven

Forty Five

Now what the hell was I supposed to do? I got off the bean bag, my stomach muscles were already tiring - besides, I've alway hated bean bags. I kicked it, just because...

I still had no answers! I thought about going upstairs. Lisa and Mike had broken up... but I had no idea where Lisa and I were now. Did I have the right to go up there? I figured not, since it was Lisa's place and she'd told me to go. I should respect their privacy. Besides, they had been in a reasonably long-term relationship, and if there was a chance of them salvaging something from it, I guessed I should give them that chance.

Thinking things through I took the only option left to me. I opened the garage roll-a-door, put my keys in the ignition and then snuck back up the stairs.

I know - you're telling my to leave them alone, quit while I'm behind, but be honest. You want me to go up there, don't you?

Forty Six

Forty Four

Have you ever had the feeling of complete certainty, that this is the final moment before your world turns to hell? People talk of "that sinking feeling". I'd describe it more as... being shoved over the edge of a clifftop and tumbling into a nameless abyss, the express elevator to the Earth's core, or a bowel movement of unexpected violence. Whatever the description, this was my moment of pending doom.

I rushed down the stairs. By the last third of the descent I had a clear line of sight of the front door and Mike's face pressed up against the glass. Lisa retrieved her top from the floor and threw it on. We froze briefly when I reached the lounge, both of us uncertain what the coming storm would bring.

Another thump on the door jolted us to movement. Lisa took a steadying breath and reached for the doorknob. I dived for a beanbag and squelched around desperately trying to find a casual and innocent sitting position. The stupidity of my endeavour dawned as Lisa turned the doorknob - I had just elephant-run down the stairs...

The door flew open from Mike's pressure. Lisa took several unsteady steps back to avoid being sprayed over the carpet.

Mike gaped at Lisa and then me - sprawled over the bean bag with legs crossed at the ankles and one arm behind my head - then back to Lisa. He seemed uncertain who to rage at first. 'Cosey,' he spluttered between seething breaths.

'Not too keen on vinyl really...' I guessed that wasn't what he meant.

Mike stalked about the lower level of the unit, glancing at the kitchen and then disappearing down the hallway to the laundry. I'm not sure why - maybe hunting for evidence of lude acts. Lisa and I swapped worried glances. The door to the garage squeaked open and Mike reappeared, pointing in the garage direction. 'Planning on staying a while?' he demanded.

I shook my head, staying ensconsed over the beanbag, figuring I was less likely to get cl0bbered while sitting down. 'It's hot, the door was open. Shade...'

I thought he was going to spit, but instead he stared at Lisa, his brow knotting into an interesting geographical formation. 'I bet that's not all that was open. Was it?'

If my heart wasn't jack-hammering its way out of my ribcage I would have been impressed. Mike's not usually one for comebacks.

Lisa held his gaze and didn't back down - it reminded me of how she'd stared down Dad- fearless, with no shame. 'Why bother asking? You've already decided.'

Mike didn't reply, instead he vaulted up the staircase three steps at a time. We heard his footsteps pounding around upstairs, first into the back bedroom, then pausing at the front one. I guessed he'd found a rumpled doona where Lisa had leapt off the bed in anger. It wouldn't look good.

'It's not what it looks like!' I called.

He didn't answer. The explosion of footsteps I expected to come flying down the stairs didn't come.

'I'm going to talk to him,' said Lisa.

I wanted to object but didn't know what to say.

'You should go,' she said. Her feet disappeared from view as she climbed the stairs.

Forty Five