Forty Eight

Nina took the note from my hand. 'What does this mean?'

I swallowed. I wanted to run and check my blog but I couldn't with Nina with me. The package wasn't posted. Weird pig person had been to my house!

'Des?'

'Um... it'll be one of Gary's sick jokes.'

'A joke?' She pushed the box to the far end of the bench. 'That's sick alright.'

'Well, I warned you about him.' How the hell did pig person know where I lived?

'I bet he's into sci-fi. They're always weird.'

'SF.'

'What?'

'Er, nothing.'

Now what the hell was I going to do? Call the cops? What the hell is a bacon boy?

'You've got messages,' said Nina pointing to the machine and apparently over the whole dismembered animal thing.

'I'll get them later.'

'Secrets?'

She was only joking but I wasn't exactly in a humouress mood. My mobile rang just as I was about to crack a cutting reply.

'Yeah.'

'Des?'

'Yeah.'

'It's Amanda from the agency.'

'Yeah.'

'Er, I just wanted to let you know, all of your clients for the last two days have requested to stay with the fill-in cleaner.'

'What?' What was she talking about? I didn't have a full roster as it was.

'It's nothing personal, they just relate better to the substitute.'

'Relate better? I don't even see them most of the time. I clean while they're at work.'

Silence. I didn't have anything to add.

'Well, you still have the Deakins and Miss Blech.'

'Great.' Mr and Mrs cop. Paula was nice though.

'Well, have a nice evening.'

'It'll be just swell.' Thanks for nothing. I couldn't believe it. I know I'm a crap person, but I work hard.


'Something wrong?' asked Nina as I stabbed my mobile phone with a finger.

'Just about everything.'

'I should go.' She put her head down and marched for the garage.

'No, stay. Look, there may be more bad news on the answering machine. At least stay while I play them and see if I self detonate?' I was only half joking. Spontaneous combustion seemed a distinct possibility.

Nina was doubtful, but she stayed.

I pushed play. What else could go wrong?

'Des, this is your mother.'

'Just in case I didn't recognise her voice,' I explained to Nina.

She smiled.

'You still haven't called me. And you definitely haven't come to see me. I'm very disappointed.'

I blew a long breath. I guess I should spend some time with her.

'She sounds lonely,' said Nina after the machine beeped.

'Yeah. I guess she is.'

She leant on the bench, not porn style like Lisa, but just because she was getting tired of standing. 'Your parents don't live together?'

'No. They're divorced.'

'I'm sorry.'

'Don't be,' I said. 'They actually speak more often this way.'

'Are you going to see her?'

'Yeah.' Why not? I needed a break from pigs, Lisa and my otherwise suckful life. 'You wanna come?' I wasn't planning on asking her - it just popped out.

She reddened. 'To see your Mum?'

I suddenly realised how thrilling that must sound. 'Well yeah - but we could do stuff on the way - or on the way back - um - .'

'You mean as if I'm your girlfriend?' Hope radiated all over her face.

My brain missed a gear. I guess it could have somehow been construed that way. Sheez, I hadn't had a real girlfriend since Michelle, and we had kept that secret on account of her not being overly attractive and me wanting to trade up to her sister. But then I remember once asking Lousie MacKenzie to "go" with me. (Somehow going out or going steady had been shortened to just go.) She was very pretty but most of the guys overlooked her for a reason I never found out. Maybe they just assumed they didn't stand a chance. I figured the odds were in my favour so I had a go. Besides, I really really liked her.

She turned me down flat. I faked illness for three days before I could face the shame of seeing her again. I like to think it was that memory that prompted my reply, rather than the threats from weird pig person and presence of fresh trotters in my kitchen.

'Er, sure... if-'

'Ok.'

'Ok?'

'Ok. I'll be your girlfriend.' Nina nodded as if that settled the matter.

OK. That was weird. I had a girlfriend. Really weird. Weird or not, I couldn't help smiling like an idiot. 'I thought you weren't ready for something?'

'This isn't something,' she said walking closer. 'This is a relationship.'

Surprisingly that didn't scare me until later. I guess I was too stunned to care. And it had the immediate upside that it would definitely spin Mum's wheels. Maybe she'd have better luck detecting the contents of the bag-dresses. I smiled when I thought about how shocked Lisa would be that I was already leaving her behind. 'Well, let's go, girlfriend.'

Forty Nine