Thirty Eight

As some anonymous voyeur pointed out, I didn't explain all that was going
on in my last blog post. And I've been busy - yeah I know that's weird for me - so I
haven't blogged much.

Quick recap - Mike is my best friend. His girlfriend Lisa came to seem me one night. She's a hoe, a hot hoe. She had a bruise, apparently from Mike. I consoled, then porked. Nina is a friend of Lisa's. She's cute, of interminable size thanks to her propensity for wearing bag-dresses and she's young. We've gone out a couple of times. So far I have averted suspicion away from my unsanctioned Lisa bang via some awkward explanations to Mike. I bumped into Nina at Gary's movie and music emporium - just in time to save Nina from his advances. Nina's kind of cool in a messed up polar bear kind of way: she nagged her former boyfriend to death, literally.

Now before I get the important stuff like how I'm feeling, I'd just like to make a special note to my Anon fan with the pig fetish.

BACK OFF!

See? I can be tough on the internet too, a real man. Roast pig... you've seen too many Looney tunes. Next you'll be opening a can of whoop-ass on me. Pft. Whatever.

*Cracks knuckles* I'm feeling better now.

So this morning I had cake with Nina. I'm starting to like spending time with her and this is a worry. I almost slapped myself when I realised I was trying to make her laugh just so I could see her teeth again. Yeah - teeth. WTF?

Lisa thinks I'm a clutz the way I keep dropping things, you know... so she bends over... I mean she's got teeth, but they're not the main act. Lisa's the big box at Christmas time. You know what it is - it's exactly what you want, you just want to get your hands on it - and you love it, even if it still has the sticky finger prints of every other kid in the store who checked it out first.

Nina is the mystery present. You curiously fumble the wrapping wondering if it's possible that someone found something you really wanted, you just didn't know it yet.

Nah, never happens.

Anyway after cake I drove Nina home. I didn't want her wandering back to Gary's shop and driving her home made me look chivalrous. *snigger* I didn't go in 'cause her Mum was home and I didn't want to get into a bad three way dynamic of how I wasn't good for her daughter. She'd know. They always do.

So here I am. My answering machine flashed at me when I got home. I was hoping it was Lisa. It feels like days since I talked to her and it was only this morning. We need to get our stories straight. If she tells Mike something that conflicts with what I told him... I guess she'll call when she can. I can't risk calling her. I just hope they're not making up - on so many levels.

The machine was a false alarm by the way: Mum. Yeah, you know the drill. 'Your father came to see you this morning.' She rang to tell me my own news again. I'll call her back, er, sometime.

Right now I'm fretting over Lisa. What if she does get back with Mike? What if he hits her again - worse? What if she decides last night, all night, and this morning was a mistake? A multiple slip in judgment? What if she told Mike it was over and that
she is with me now? What if he couldn't accept it? What if he's locked her in the bathroom and plans to feed her under the door for the rest of her life?

I mean these are issues. Real issues. This isn't right. It's distracting me from my normal worthless vassilations - like trying to work out why Elijah Wood played Frodo so gay.

Pft. Anyway, in all the excitement this morning I forgot to cancel my cleaning appointments. There's an SMS to call the agency. I guess I'll have to in the morning. I'll make up something.

Look, if anyone has any real meaningful input as to what I should do, express it to me. (Not you weird pig person.) Do I confess? Do I tell Mike to back off? What about Nina? (Not you pig person.) Tell me.

I'll be refreshing the screen every thirty seconds for the next hour.

Thirty Nine

Thirty Seven

Where have you been? What have you done? Why do you feel bad for Mike? Do NOT, hurt Nina. I like my pigs roasted.

Anon.

It had been a long time since I had blogged. Reading any comment other than "You're a disgusting pig" was probably gonna throw me, but this one sounded kinda freaky. Still, I supposed one extra sick freak on the web wasn't going to unhinge the world.

There were things I needed to get off my chest. This break in routine was starting to stress me. I mean, I actually had interesting stuff to say and I hadn't seen a toilet, except for necessity, in days. Yeah... more about that soon. So finally, I returned to "self", and I blogged my little heart out.

Thirty Eight